Chapter 14: Shipping Them Any More Would Be Rude
This was the first time Pu Tong had gone to school in disguise.
Why does this feel... strangely satisfying?
Wait, that's not right.
Do I have some weird fetish or something?
He put on an oversized black face mask, completely covering his handsome face.
Just to be safe, he added a baseball cap as well.
Looking at himself, Pu Tong felt that if he went out dressed like this, even his own mother probably wouldn't recognize him.
"Son, why are you dressed like that?"
"..."
Fine. Forget I said anything.
Glancing at the plate of completely charred fried eggs on the table, Pu Tong didn't dare take a single bite. He quickly finished a few slices of bread before fleeing the house.
Mom's poison-making skills are getting more impressive by the day...
His home was about a twenty-minute walk from school.
Maybe it was all in his head, but Pu Tong felt like everyone on the street was staring at him.
Office workers looked at him.
Retired grandpas doing morning exercises looked at him.
Even stray dogs passing by seemed to stop and glance at him twice.
"No way... I'm practically covered from head to toe."
He cautiously looked around and lowered the brim of his cap.
Before he could continue walking, someone suddenly patted him on the shoulder.
"I'm not him! You've got the wrong person! I'm not that gu—"
What?!
I've only made it halfway to school and I've already been recognized?
His disguise challenge hadn't even officially begun before it failed.
Startled, he instinctively prepared to run.
"Brother Tong, why are you acting so suspicious?"
"...You nearly scared me to death."
Only then did Pu Tong realize the culprit was none other than Liu Neng.
How does this fat guy walk without making a sound?
He'd be wasting his talent if he didn't become an assassin.
"So that's your outfit..."
"Ohhh... I get it now."
Liu Neng wrapped an arm around Pu Tong's shoulders and let out a mischievous laugh.
"Brother Tong's a big celebrity now. Gotta be careful about your public image."
"You're the celebrity! Your whole family's celebrities!"
"Huh?"
Liu Neng blinked in confusion.
That sounded like an insult...
But not exactly...
It even felt like a blessing somehow.
As expected of Brother Tong.
Handsome and eloquent!
"How'd you recognize me?"
"Brother Tong, a face mask can't hide your beauty."
"Damn... Why do I feel disappointed that my disguise failed, but also happy because I got complimented?"
Liu Neng casually pulled out his phone and snapped a selfie of the two of them.
"What are you doing? Don't tell me you're posting it on Weibo too."
Please don't.
After his mother's shameless clout-chasing, he'd developed PTSD.
"No way." Liu Neng put his phone away. "I'm just a nobody. Who'd even see it?"
He patted Pu Tong's shoulder.
"Brother Tong's going to become a huge star."
"We probably won't get to see each other much after that."
"So I figured I'd take a picture as a keepsake."
"Otherwise, when I tell people I know you someday..."
"No one will believe me."
The chubby boy forced a smile onto his face.
Even the folds of fat on his cheeks somehow looked a little lonely.
...So this guy's actually sentimental.
Looks like the original owner really did have a good friend.
"Who said I'm becoming a celebrity?"
"I'm not becoming one."
Pu Tong slung an arm around Liu Neng's shoulders and laughed.
"Being a celebrity's exhausting."
"I'd rather study hard, make money, and get rich."
"When I do, I'll take you along with me."
First, let's make a game where plants beat up zombies...
"Really?"
"Of course."
"When have I ever lied to you?"
"That's great."
"...But Brother Tong, why are you hiding behind me?"
"You're big."
"You make a good shield."
"..."
Liu Neng really was dependable.
If Pu Tong was worried about being recognized...
The guy could literally block him from view.
Before long, the two safely arrived at the school gates.
With Liu Neng serving as a human shield, the journey had gone surprisingly smoothly.
See?
I'm actually not that popular after all.
Perfect.
"Brother Tong... look."
"Look at what?"
Following Liu Neng's gaze, Pu Tong looked ahead..
...and froze.
People.
Nothing but people.
The school entrance was packed to the brim.
A sea of black heads stretched as far as the eye could see.
Even the security guards looked like they were about to lose control.
"I'm a student! Let me in!"
A middle-aged woman at the front squeezed forward while shouting at the top of her lungs.
You call yourself a student?
What is this?
The apocalypse?
Are people rushing here to fight over resources?
But what resources does a school even have?
Knowledge?
An absurd idea suddenly popped into Pu Tong's head.
"The Apocalypse Begins at School: Re-educating Zombies Through Education."
"Let me in!"
"I want to see what this brat Pu Tong is capable of, seducing our Wanwan!"
The middle-aged woman fought like she was worth ten people, forcing the security guards several steps backward.
"We've watched Wanwan grow up!"
"Why should some brat get to take her away?"
"That little punk!"
"That little punk!"
A crowd of uncles and aunties echoed the cry.
Judging by their expressions...
They weren't planning on leaving any survivors.
"Brother Tong..."
"T-They're all here for you..."
Liu Neng had never seen a scene like this before.
He'd already decided to stay as far away from Pu Tong as possible.
Just don't let the blood splatter on me.
"I know."
Pu Tong sighed helplessly.
These people were all Yu Wanwan's "mom fans" and "dad fans."
They had watched her grow up since she was a child.
And now some random brat was trying to steal their precious "daughter."
How could they tolerate that?
Beat him up!
Unlike younger fans, these older fans didn't care about shipping couples.
They didn't care if he was handsome.
They didn't care if he was talented.
If a pig wanted to steal their cabbage...
It deserved a beating.
Normally, these mature fans wouldn't do something this ridiculous.
Most of them were probably just here for the excitement.
Only a handful of ringleaders were actually causing trouble.
Cold sweat trickled down Pu Tong's forehead.
Forget the whole crowd.
He felt like any one of these aunties could beat up ten versions of him.
Never underestimate the combat power of middle-aged women.
Yu Wanwan...
Look what you've done.
Seriously... what kind of fanbase do you even have?
"We're not stopping the other students from studying!"
"We just want to see Pu Tong!"
"That's right!"
"Kid!"
"If you're a real man, come out here!"
"So you're not delaying anyone else's studies..."
"Just mine?"
"What now, Brother Tong?" Liu Neng whispered.
"Cold salad."
"...Huh?"
There was absolutely no way Pu Tong was stepping forward.
The whole thing between him and Yu Wanwan had been fabricated out of thin air.
If he voluntarily walked into the spotlight now...
Wouldn't he be an idiot?
Then he'd never be able to explain himself.
Still...
If he wanted to continue studying peacefully, getting into school was non-negotiable.
"Fatty."
"Listen carefully..."
"Huh?"
"Will that really work?"
"Just trust me."
Liu Neng nodded blankly.
He chose to believe Pu Tong.
"Ow!"
"Pu Tong!"
"What are you doing?!"
Liu Neng suddenly shouted at the top of his lungs.
Instantly, every eye turned toward them.
"Pu Tong?!"
"Where?!"
Liu Neng deliberately looked frightened and pointed behind them.
"He ran that way!"
"That brat actually ran!"
"Quick!"
"After him!"
The leaders immediately changed direction.
Together with the enormous crowd of curious onlookers, they charged toward the direction Liu Neng had pointed.
A few people glanced suspiciously at the heavily wrapped figure hiding behind Liu Neng.
But eager not to fall behind the crowd, they only spared him a second glance before running off.
"That was close..."
Watching the crowd disappear, Pu Tong felt his scalp go numb.
Sure enough...
People caught up in public opinion really were blind.
Point them in one direction...
And they'd charge without thinking.
With the entrance finally clear, Pu Tong and Liu Neng didn't dare linger.
They sprinted into the school.
If the crowd suddenly doubled back...
Both of them would be finished.
Standing outside the classroom door, Pu Tong hesitated.
This is going to be awkward...
If all his classmates believed there really was something between him and Yu Wanwan...
Wouldn't things become incredibly weird?
"Look at those two..."
Whisper whisper whisper...
Just imagining everyone teasing them made goosebumps crawl across his skin.
This is seriously interfering with my studies.
Please...
Don't let my classmates be CP shippers too.
There was no point standing outside forever.
Gritting his teeth, Pu Tong stepped into the classroom.
The entire class immediately turned to look at him.
From the moment he entered...
To the moment he sat down...
From setting down his backpack...
To taking out his textbooks...
He felt like a laboratory mouse under observation.
Swallowing nervously, Pu Tong glanced at the empty seat beside him.
Thank goodness.
The heroine isn't here.
Otherwise it'd be even more awkward.
Lin Yuxi turned around with an amused smile.
"Wanwan went to speak with the school administration."
"After all, they're her fans."
"If they aren't dealt with properly, it'll have a pretty bad impact."
"Oh..."
Strictly speaking, he was actually the spark that had ignited the whole incident.
But he'd been dragged into it against his will.
He'd just wait and see how Yu Wanwan handled it.
Going to school every day under this kind of pressure seriously affected his ability to study.
"I never would've guessed you could write songs."
"...Actually, I can't."
"Heh."
Lin Yuxi couldn't even be bothered arguing with him anymore.
"Writing songs isn't that surprising."
"There aren't many geniuses in this world..."
"But there definitely aren't few, either."
"What surprises me much more..."
"...is just how much you like Wanwan."
Her face was full of teasing amusement.
She looked completely delighted by the drama.
"I seriously don't."
"Alright, alright."
"I'm not getting involved in whatever's going on between you two."
"It's none of my business."
She turned back around.
Then her deskmate, Yi Zhi Xuenai, turned to face him instead.
"You..."
Without saying a word, Pu Tong gently turned her back toward the front.
"You'd better stay out of this too."
Our mascot.
Forget it.
Since he couldn't explain it clearly...
He simply wouldn't explain it at all.
Studying was more important.
The morning was the most valuable part of the day.
Not wanting to waste any time, Pu Tong opened his English vocabulary book and began memorizing words.
If he wanted to master English, vocabulary was essential.
The original owner had been lazy.
English was by far his weakest subject.
As a result, his English teacher, Zhang Binyan, wasn't particularly fond of him.
Pu Tong immersed himself completely in memorizing vocabulary.
Only when the girl beside him sat down did he realize his deskmate had returned.
Yu Wanwan glanced at him.
She didn't say a word.
"Oooooh!"
A chorus of teasing whistles immediately erupted throughout the classroom.
As expected...
They're all shipping us too.
Please... stop shipping us already.
Any more than this would just be rude.
(End of Chapter)
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